High school students learn how to handle bullies
Published in the Home News Tribune 4/28/04
H.E.R.O. program
By LISA VERNON-SPARKSSTAFF WRITER
"You want to 'de-escalate' the situation," said Levy, a sensei -- teacher and master -- of karate and fifth-degree black belt. "You have to have that purpose in mind -- to end the conflict before it turns into a physical fight, so that you are able to walk away with dignity and confidence."
Yesterday, Levy, along with Ron Shuali, also a black belt, presented the program to 208 students at Moshe Aaron Yeshiva High School on Charles Street. Using role-play and student interaction, Levy and Shuali demonstrated strategies to defeat bullies without the risks of fighting.
The program lasted one hour and was broken up into two sessions, one for girls and one for boys. Levy noted that women usually face more emotional abuse, while men typically face "physical intimidation."
Using large cue cards, Levy explained that there are different types of bullies -- such as the fashion bully, the jock and the in-crowd bullies -- and ways to handle them. He recommended trying to be friendly to one's oppressor, ignoring them, reasoning with them and perhaps even tricking them, as a way to resolve the situation.
Later, he brought students up to participate in the role-playing, giving them an opportunity to try some of the techniques out.
Josh Hassan, a senior at the high school, said it's important to give people solutions.
"Most of the kids here look out for each other," Hassan said. But in case it does happen, "you know what to do. You don't panic. You know how to handle yourself in the situation."
Freshman Zahava Goldfischer said the worst bullying situation for girls has everything to do with fashion and physical appearance. Knowing ways to circumvent that comes in handy, she added.
"If you don't wear something that everyone is wearing, if you are not wearing the style," you'll probably be picked on, Goldfischer said. "(The program) shows you how to deal with it."
One out of every four school-age children are bullied and 30 percent of U.S. students in grades six through 10 are involved in moderate or frequent bullying as bullies, as victims, or both, according to survey results obtained by the North Carolina Department of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention Center for the Prevention of School Violence.
Too often, bullied children face ridicule and feel bad for not defending themselves. Worse, they face being suspended, even expelled from school for fighting, Levy said.
Both scenarios leave emotional scars, he said, adding that his program can help students avoid those outcomes, not only to prevent the violence, but also stop what he calls the cycle of bullying.
"I feel poorly because I've been bullied," Levy said, as he described how a person typically feels after a confrontation. "In order to regain that sense of dignity, I bully somebody else, and that person becomes a victim."
A former Franklin elementary school teacher, Levy started bringing this program to schools about four years ago. One of things he remembered when he was an educator was that there wasn't enough guidance on what children should do when the bullying begins.
"The biggest problem I saw -- there was peer mediation and conflict resolution -- but what does a kid do in the moment, to get out of the situation? " Levy said.
Lisa Vernon-Sparks: (732) 565-7262; lvsparks@thnt.com
It's a concept Levy advocates every time he presents "Bully Education Theater," a program he brings to schools to teach children ways of defusing peer confrontations without violence. The session is presented by Highland Park-based Family Martial Arts Academy, which Levy co-owns with his wife Yvonne.
JASON TOWLEN/Staff photographer Joel Levy of the Family Martial Arts Academy of Highland Park explained how to defuse bullying to students of the Moshe Aaron Yeshiva High School in South River yesterday. 
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